Five Reasons to Stay Married

Last weekend Rob and I were alone in the car for two hours, driving home from Philadelphia where we’d had lunch with our two oldest children and some of their friends. In the course of conversation, our daughter Maggie was appalled to learn that we had only dated for two months before becoming engaged. (We had known each other for two years before that and been good friends, but when one of us was unattached, the other was dating someone else.)

“Two months? Two MONTHS?” she kept exclaiming. “I can’t believe that! What was your hurry?”

Twenty-five years later I can’t really explain what the hurry was either, although it seems to have worked out okay. But since we were speaking of marriage, and since we usually introduce more compelling topics than who’s buying the water softener chemicals on long car rides, I suggested we think of five reasons we should stay married.

The first five we came up with were worthy, and accurate: we share a history, we share children, we enjoy doing things together, we still make each other laugh and we’re compatible in bed (neither of us snores. What did you think I meant)?

But after more discussion, we came up with a few more reasons to stay married:

After all these years, I have accepted that Rob will always take his socks off inside-out, so they have to be turned outside-in before they can be matched and put in the drawer.

Rob has perfected looking interested when I talk to think, while really listening to the game that’s on in the other room. He’s also tolerant enough to listen in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep (he says if I’m talking, then he knows everything is okay).

If I just want to taste something in a restaurant, I can order it because Rob will finish it.

We have taken over the chores each other dislikes. I do the painting and the water chemicals. He loads the dishwasher and figures out how to fit things in the downstairs refrigerator after a large Costco run.

And (drum roll please) the most important reason I will remain married to this man: he runs out to get me Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk, even when the NCAA tourney is on.

Of course, I am usually willing to wait till the half. These compromises are what marriage is all about.